On the Wings of Prayer and a Mocha... or the importance of Inviting Someone into Your Mess.

This was written previously. I was not sure that I was even going to share it, but now I hope it blesses you. We are not perfect beings and yet we strive so hard for this image. 

In crying out for prayer I did not expect the answer the Lord decided to give me. I almost missed the beautiful blessing because I was hiding away in fear of what others might think. 

I pray this encourages you to cry out to God and a trusted friend quickly when you are struggling. Don't buy the myth that you can handle this all alone. I pray that God sends a trusted someone to you, that you can invite into your mess too. Hope is on the way my friends.

-Heather

“Oh goodness, I was doing better for a bit, but today I am a total crank. Need some prayers for a better attitude.”

I fired off the text in a rush. My brow remained furrowed...

I think there is a permanent crease there now from the last few months.

Lately, my eyes need tooth picks to keep them open. I feel like I constantly squint and not just from site issues, but from the bleary eyed frustration of struggling against the dark and gloomy thoughts that seem to be plaguing me lately...

So I fired off the text. A cry for prayer. I recognized the signs of depression that were knock knock knocking on my door again and I knew I couldn't handle this battle alone.

Been there. Done that. Failed.

She answered quickly and reciprocated the feeling.

In a single moment the Lord ushered in grace, hope, and a feeling of communion that gently whispered,

“You are not alone.”

You see the enemy wants us that way. He wants our vision tunneled by the hopelessness of looking down and inward and losing site of the hope and light that is found by looking up and outward.

Oh the blessings of sweet company. Now, I knew I wasn't fighting this battle alone anymore.

I awoke the next morning still feeling worn out. Why even get dressed yet? I wandered through my home with thoughts of guilt and frustration pestering me.

I did a daily tango between, “I am so exhausted... How does my house become such a wreck in just 3 days?” to the crushing guilt in realizing yet again, “Why in the world am I so depressed, when I know I am INCREDIBLY BLESSED?!”

Grumble, grumble...you get the idea.

And then there was an interruption to my pity party saga...

A literal “Knock, knock, knock.” came from the front door.

I froze.

Someone was at my door? I wasn't expecting anyone. I mean especially not in my lovely, and hilarious, state of wreckage.

Hair = Unbrushed and sticking out in lovely formations

Pajamas = Check... Yep, still there.

Dishes = Piled high in my sink. UGH!

Table = Spread with my kids school books and papers...papers now floating down to the floor.

Floor = A splendid mix of K-nex, My Little Ponies, and (Le gasp) a few Cheerios left from breakfast, to boot.

Oh, the horror.

So I just stood there, frozen in my kitchen.

My kids staring at me with questioning looks. (Yes my sweet darlings, your momma is hiding in the kitchen and she is a mess.)

My thoughts circling,

“It must be a door to door salesman...Or those friendly Mormons have come back... I can wait them out.“ (I was in a sad state. I know.)

After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, (Ahem... Reality? Three minutes tops.) a text pinged my phone.

“Are you there?”

A dear sweet friend was in the neighborhood. She was surprising me with a mocha and a hug.

Sheepishly I shuffled my embarrassed butt to the door where she stood with a beautiful smile full of warmth and love.

I stood there a disheveled and mortified wreck.

But then gloriously, God broke through my introspective grumbling.

Suddenly I didn't care about “me” anymore.

I invited her into my mess.

While our kids played, we shared.

She listened. Like treasured gifts she offered me sweet grace and acceptance, instead of the judgment I feared.

And those wonderful gifts have lingered...

Offered on the wings of prayers and a mocha, I received a little more clarity and energy that day.

And gratefully, each day these are returning to my heart.

Bit by bit... Peeking through the cold winter hardened soil and growing upward again.

Joy is breaking through my clouds and that blasted tunnel has opened to the light of Truth.

And for this, I thank you, my sweet, sweet friends. You were God's hands and feet in my life that week.

This is my prayer in thanks for you all. (Taken from the words of Paul.)

Philippians 1: 3-5, 9-11, Ephesians 3:14-21

I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart...

And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name.

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. 

And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ,and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Joining with these lovely places Inspire Me Mondays, Wednesday's Word,

Bracing for Impact with the Living God.

Recently my hubby and I had the privilege of returning to the Simply Youth Ministry Conference. Our intentions were to gain training for a couple of college students who are called to ministry.

I was not expecting much for myself. You see my hubby and I have found ourselves in a year of dis-orientation...

Meaning, good friends have passed away or lost their jobs, family strife, our church is without a Pastor and wrestling with it, and so much more...

To put it plainly we have felt disoriented.

I thank God for the Simply Youth Ministry team for listening to the promptings of the Holy Spirit. Disorientation was a theme discussed again and again at the conference. 

God, You are always right on top of things aren't You?

 I have a few posts for you on lessons I learned while there. I hope they bless you. The posts are very raw, but maybe...just maybe there are some out there who can relate? 

I pray this finds you, the souls who are trying to stand in the midst of storms and cry out to the living God for the strength to follow His will. I am grateful for this truth, that in the process we absolutely will discover His unfathomable grace and amazing love. 

God Bless you all greatly,

-Heather

Jesus, You just keep messing with me.

Turning my insides out...

Shaking the loose pieces to the ground...Sifting.

You are a fire scathing, seething, licking away the impurities and reducing me to liquid.

It's been painful...I feel like I bleed and cry and scream, but to no one but Jesus, because who else would understand this anyways?

Then comes the reminder...

He is the God of the light and the dark.

He is there in the darkness, and yet creating light from it.

"Seriously, Lord?!? What do you want from me?"
 I ask searching for answers yet again.

Hot messy tears begin pouring out as I sit huddled and bent over tucking my head into my knees.

I am rocking with my hands over my head as if I am bracing for impact in a plane crash.

White knuckling it, I try to restrain the sobs as I feel my face growing red from the tension. Fearing it might burst forth in all its ugliness and confusion, I find I am holding my breath...

I am bracing for impact with a 

Living and Holy God.

Shaking....
Hoping no one notices me in this state of fear and heart ache under the cloud of darkness in the worship session I whisper,

“ I don't like this Lord.” Sobs begin to escape my throat , “This scares me... Why? Why now?”

Then...

His words rush over me like a crashing wave.

“Oh how I love you daughter.

I do... I love you.”

As if I am in the choppy tangled waves of the ocean

I gasp for breath in great gulps. I feel like I am drowning.

In the darkness of the worship session I hide.

“I don't like this Father. This scares me. Please no...Please no, no, not this!”

I beg and beg as I rock. He whispers gently again,

“I love you. Trust me. Obey.”

Again and again this was the message. It scares me, this task He is asking from us. Its different. (I am not always great with change.)

Now we are diving into the unknown and uncharted waters and this definitely requires trust.

“Not my will, but yours be done Lord.”

I will wrestle my will and fears to the mat...Through Your love and grace, Lord, I will surrender to You and Your ways.

Oh Jesus, You are unrelenting and I find myself grateful for You never ever give-up. Father, Your ways are not my own and Your thoughts are not mine.

Once again, with knees still knocking, I stand.

I am shaky still, but my feet are planted on Your solid rock of Truth.

I raise my hands high. Lifting my face to the light, I offer my heart again to You in worship and praise. I open my mouth and sing.

Will you join me friends? In the tough times? In heart ache and loss? In the pain and confusion will you join me and sing?

Do you have something you are wrestling with?

An area of your life where things are confusing or painful?

Can I pray for you friends? 

A Compassion Kick-off and a Call Out for Prayer.

Greetings Friends!

 This month is Blog Month for Compassion. Would you please consider sharing this post with others? Facebook it! Tweet it! Send it through email! Let's see more children find hope this month by people praying for them and some even making the choice to sponsor them.

A few weeks ago, I shared with you about God placing a call on my heart to sponsor a child through Compassion International. I truly believe their work is at the very core of what God is calling us to do. 

 If you have read the Bible, you know that God calls us again and again to care for the least of these. (Matthew 25:34-40) His heart hurts for the orphaned and the homeless. Doesn't God ask us to love others like we would want to be loved? 

In an interview, Katie Davis, author of, “Kisses From Katie”  shared,

“As someone who calls themselves a Christian,  I mean, it’s very apparent that you are to love the Lord with all your heart and then you’re to love your neighbor as yourself. Myself doesn’t want to be starving … and so I don’t want other people in the world to be starving.”

She goes on to point out that these were not requests, but commands from Jesus. Friends crack open your Bible and check them out for yourself. 

Matthew 22:36-40

“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

Jesus replied:

 “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 

This is the first and greatest commandment. 

And the second is like it:

 ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 

All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Are you thinking, "Oh crud!? Those are commandments? I am sure that does not mean I actually have to do them..." 

Perhaps you are about to click away from this blog, thinking to yourself,

 "Oh my, we have another bleeding heart here. Bla bla bla, I have heard it all before lady and seen the infomercial. Time to turn the channel."

Honestly I understand... We are all over exposed and have become desensitized to this message, but please keep reading. I am with you. I have been there my friends, please keep reading. 

Today we need to stop treating these as optional requests from God.  Friends, these are His commands and they flow out of the core of God’s very heart. 

These are real people. 

These are suffering children. 

They are our hurting neighbors. 

God commands us to treat them as we would want to be treated.

So that leads to my request for today.

I have learned incredible lessons from my sponsored child. The joys we have known through our experience in this relationship have been amazing. I even wrote about this very topic 2 weeks ago in my post titled, "Love Does! When God Strikes in the Middle of a Boring Lecture Hall..."

That is where my journey in Compassion's child sponsorship program began. When God used a simple college lecture to tear my heart in two with the news of the sex slave trade in Thailand. Through her letters and beautiful drawings, I met a wonderful little girl named Tairinee, from Thailand. 

Eventually, Tairinee grew up and moved on, but now we have dear, sweet  Genesis. Genesis has opened my ignorant eyes time and time again over these last couple of years. Imagine, one little girl teaching our kids, myself, and my husband priceless lessons we would not have learned otherwise. 

We signed up to show God’s love to Genesis, but honestly Genesis has taught us about God's love for people and the importance of prayer. 

Friends let’s do something for these little ones. I know some of you already sponsor a child and some of you just feel flat broke right now, but here is your opportunity to do something so simple. 

Pray

 Would you please consider going to the Compassion Sponsor page. Take a moment and look over each child, their names, their different countries, and their ages. 

Then take a minute to Pray over them.  

Ask the Lord to provide for them spiritually, emotionally, and physically.

Pray for their family’s health and for adequate jobs for their parents. 

Pray for their protection from harm.

Pray for blessings upon them and their family.  

Finally, please Pray for someone to sponsor them.

Could you do one more thing?

Could you ask the Lord in what ways He would like you to help the poor? Whether it’s through Compassion International or in your own town, ask Him and then follow through with what He lays on your heart.

Please visit and pray for these children. It will only take a moment of your time and time is something we can all give a little of.

If you have sponsored a child, could you take a moment and share how God has provided the means financially for this commitment?

Has it been rough financially to do this?

May God Bless you greatly friends! J

Again consider sharing this. Maybe you could be the catalyst for another child finding their sponsor by posting this blog on Facebook or Tweeting about it. Let’s see if we can help Compassion reach it's goal for over 3,000 children to be sponsored this month!