Warning... I am a mess for Jesus

WARNING-------What you are about to read is a bit messy and rife with errors. Like my life right now.

Hi Friends,

I am sorry it has been so long. I have missed you all. This last month has been full of ups and downs. I stopped writing when I came down with a “lovely” bronchial infection for about 2-3 weeks, but honestly did not return to writing because God is teaching me so many things. (Man, that sounds really lame, but I assure you it’s the truth.)

 I know I will eventually be able to put all these lessons He has been teaching me into words without sounding like a crazy mess of a bleeding heart. Okay, I cannot even promise that. I am a mess right now.

Lately I cry when reading scripture. (Why can’t I just read it and think on it like a normal good little Christian? Nope, right now I cry. His words break my heart. My lack of action breaks my heart.) I love my Lord so very much, and He is really re-working me in some areas.

Then while reading this book “Seven” by Jen Hatmaker, God began to escalate some of these things that I had finally shoved behind the couch in my mind because I could not figure out what to do with them. (Thank you Jen!) 

For example, after returning from Africa I found myself walking through my home thinking, why in the world do I have so much stuff? Why do I place so much importance on what others think of how well decorated or updated my home is when people are literally starving to death? 

When I found myself alone in our home, I would literally look around the room and examine all the pieces of furniture and think, “I don’t need that. Am I willing to give it all up?” (This from a person that attaches sentimental meanings to objects like crazy.)

 I have done fundraisers and worked with our teens and we have raised thousands of dollars to help the poor here in the US and across the globe, but how often am I being truly intentional with my “stuff” that I have accumulated. Yes, I can mindlessly donate it to “Good Will”, or to the “Salvation Army”, (Both great places to donate) but what if I am more intentional and seek out someone who really needs it? What if I give away things I really love, but do not need?

What if I stop eating so much food simply because I am on an emotional whim or because my goodness I just love food? (And I do, I love cooking, baking, all the wonders of the culinary world.) 

What if I start eating not to satisfy my taste buds and emotional outbursts, (Ode to chocolate how I love you!) but as I should to feed this “temple” the Lord has given me. I truly am excited with the over-haul God has given me on my view of food this last month.  Why am I so excited? Stay tuned my friends, stay tuned…

I am thrilled to say I started my "Seven" fast with a friend of mine from church. (Thank you Jesus for giving me such a wonderful soul to go through this fast with!)  I started with month one which covers food and I cannot wait to write about what He has been teaching me through it. (Obviously)

Here is where I have to tell you that I just love how the Lord works. He is such a beautiful master-mind.

While reading the book, “Seven” and starting my, “Seven” fast I simultaneously was reading the biography of Dietrich Bonhoeffer. Also midway through reading the book, "Seven", I began another book called “The Irresistible Revolution” by Shane Claiborne that one of my teens, I call her my “dear daughter” handed to me and told me I needed to read.

I was completely in the dark at the time, that these books all intermingle on the same topics over and over again. I was even more clueless to the fact that they might even literally mention each other by name. Oh Lord, you are such a clever one. Mmm, mmm, mmm…

Oh Lord, Your ways are not mine and that has never been as abundantly clear as it is right now.

I hope you stay tuned my friends, there is more to come on my mess. ;)

Micah 6:8

Seek Justice, Love Mercy, and Walk Humbly with your God.

Humble Pie and a List to Live By.

Don't they look so sweet and angelic here?

My friends, my children have humbled me. I mean it. I have found myself flat-out speechless, dumbfounded, and convicted by their sweet hearts and wise words. They have given me the hope and camaraderie I have desperately been seeking for. 

Since my trip to Africa I have not been able to process what to do with all of my "stuff".

When I returned home, I went on a tear going through our closets to give stuff away to the poor, but after a while I was back in the rush and bustle of ministry and life with three active and involved kids.

 When our schedule slowed down, moments would occur when I would once again look at all that I had and feel overwhelmed...where do I start? I really don't need this stuff. I wanted it, but I didn't need it. (Sadly I know I bought it because I had convinced myself that I needed it. Oh the tangled web I can weave.)

Now, back to my kids. I am looking at our new school year and praying, asking the Lord... No.  Let me be honest here, I was anxiously begging the Lord to show me how to teach my kids to live like missionaries. To love like Jesus loves.

How do I keep them from getting caught up in the consumer nature and craziness of our country? I don’t want them always "needing" more “stuff”. Isn’t “need” a funny word to us? We have stretched it and molded it to be mainly an excuse to buy what we “want”.

Finally the other day God put it to me quite simply.

 "Daughter, go and talk to them. Share your heart, your struggles, and then ask them about me."

So I did. I called my oldest children to the table and I began to share the struggles I have faced with wanting more stuff. (By the way, I think there is a reason the magazine is called “Better Homes and Gardens”. It’s because those homes are always better than mine, but I must digress.)

I shared my struggle with not wanting to give things away because I have a crazy sentimental attachment to it. They nodded their heads and my son gave me a skeptical look. His sharp young mind was whirring at a hundred miles per second trying to guess where this was headed. I then asked them,

"What did Jesus ask us to do in the Bible?”

I had my blank sheet of paper ready and a pen in hand, waiting.  There was only a moment’s pause before my 7 year old daughter started with a barrage of ideas flowing from her excited little lips. She waved her arms about and occasionally jumped up from her seat as a new thought would occur to her. 

My friends, it was a constant stream of thrilled chatter that filled the air and covered the front and back of my paper. Honestly, it was hard to keep up with them. Occasionally I had to ask my children to pause while mom finished writing. I then proudly reread the amazing list to them out loud.

I was humbled and in awe. I sat there quietly mulling over the list again. I whispered silent prayers of thanksgiving to the Lord, for their pure earnest hearts.

Here is their beautiful and humbling list. I tried to stay true to their own words as they were speaking.

 “What does Jesus ask us to do in the Bible?”

• Give stuff to people.
•  Love People!
•  Be nice.
•  Love our enemies.
• Only worship God! No other god’s before Him.
• Pray for people
• Tell people about Him, most of the time!
• Celebrate Jesus and especially at Christmas we do, but really we should every day.
• Help people! Even if they are on the other team and you are in a race. You should stop and help them!
• Give food to people
• Help the poor
• Travel to tell people about Jesus in other places.
• Follow the 10 commandments.
• Don’t leave anyone behind. Go find them if they are lost.
• Help people who are in trouble.
• Listen to our Mom and Dad.
• Be happy with what God gives us.
• Give presents to others.
• Send His message to people who don’t know Him.
• Take care of what God gives us, like our home, animals, the earth, and our things.
• He wants me to just be me. I don’t have to try to be someone else.
• Keep my promises and don’t lie.
• He always wants us to give, learn about Him, and worship Him every day!

At this point I was getting a bit teary eyed. (Note to self; I must thank our amazing Sunday School teachers at church!) I swallowed the tears back and finally asked them,

 "How can we start doing these things every day? How can we live this out?”

They sat there quietly thinking for a moment... Then once again my daughter excitedly hopped off the bench and said in her sweet sing song voice,

"Mom, let’s go through my toys and stuffed animals. I should give them away to other kids who don’t have them. Can we do it right now?"

I was in shock. Instead of the normal whine of my children

"Mom you are so meeeeaaaan! Why do I have to sort through my toys?" 

My daughter excitedly raced to the work. As we began to go through her toys, her younger sister joined in and within an hour they had 3 garbage bags full of toys to give away.

Let me tell you, these were some really nice toys too. Sadly, oh for the shame of it all friends, I had moments where I struggled with their choices. I struggled because I knew the cost or the identity of the gift giver for each item they were giving away, but then…

How could I destroy what God was clearly doing in their hearts? These precious girls even kept a few toys to the side to give to their friends because those were the toys their friends always wanted to play with when they were over. It was…

Well…

Absolutely beautiful.

I found hope that day.

I know now, I am not alone.

Like Jen Hatmaker writes in her book "Seven. An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess",

 "Jesus, for your kingdom to come, mine will have to go."

Please Lord let us not be caught up in this machine of constant consumerism again. Thank you for the freedom that comes from desiring you and your heart first!

What about you, my friends? Will you join us?

Please sign up and follow this blog with your email address. It’s absolutely free. We will just be fellow adventurers on a journey to follow Christ.

Would you like to join me in reading “Seven” by Jen Hatmaker? Please, leave me a comment or any questions that you may have about it. (Or join the women at (in)courage in the Bloom book club as they take us through the book including special interviews with the author!)

Now this is more accurate than our lovely photo at the beginning of this blog. (Please excuse the ketch-up on their faces.) Let's just be honest, our family is a goofy and fun loving bunch. ;)

Tomorrow, I will be posting updates for you on our journey with the “Free the Girls” drive. Also, I will fill you in on the next challenge that my children and I will undertake in our adventure to live the way Jesus asked us to. 
Please continue praying for the children at Compassion to find sponsors or consider becoming a blogger for Compassion.

I am praying for you today friends! Remember don’t limit God this week; He has BIG plans for each of us. Take time to praise Him and thank Him for the big and the small. He is truly amazing.

God Bless you greatly!