Wednesday, May 1, 2013

On the Wings of Prayer and a Mocha... or the importance of Inviting Someone into Your Mess.

This was written previously. I was not sure that I was even going to share it, but now I hope it blesses you. We are not perfect beings and yet we strive so hard for this image. 

In crying out for prayer I did not expect the answer the Lord decided to give me. I almost missed the beautiful blessing because I was hiding away in fear of what others might think. 

I pray this encourages you to cry out to God and a trusted friend quickly when you are struggling. Don't buy the myth that you can handle this all alone. I pray that God sends a trusted someone to you, that you can invite into your mess too. Hope is on the way my friends.


“Oh goodness, I was doing better for a bit, but today I am a total crank. Need some prayers for a better attitude.”

I fired off the text in a rush. My brow remained furrowed...

I think there is a permanent crease there now from the last few months.

Lately, my eyes need tooth picks to keep them open. I feel like I constantly squint and not just from site issues, but from the bleary eyed frustration of struggling against the dark and gloomy thoughts that seem to be plaguing me lately...

So I fired off the text. A cry for prayer. I recognized the signs of depression that were knock knock knocking on my door again and I knew I couldn't handle this battle alone.

Been there. Done that. Failed.

She answered quickly and reciprocated the feeling.

In a single moment the Lord ushered in grace, hope, and a feeling of communion that gently whispered,

“You are not alone.”

You see the enemy wants us that way. He wants our vision tunneled by the hopelessness of looking down and inward and losing site of the hope and light that is found by looking up and outward.

Oh the blessings of sweet company. Now, I knew I wasn't fighting this battle alone anymore.

I awoke the next morning still feeling worn out. Why even get dressed yet? I wandered through my home with thoughts of guilt and frustration pestering me.

I did a daily tango between, “I am so exhausted... How does my house become such a wreck in just 3 days?” to the crushing guilt in realizing yet again, “Why in the world am I so depressed, when I know I am INCREDIBLY BLESSED?!”

Grumble, get the idea.

And then there was an interruption to my pity party saga...

A literal “Knock, knock, knock.” came from the front door.

I froze.

Someone was at my door? I wasn't expecting anyone. I mean especially not in my lovely, and hilarious, state of wreckage.

Hair = Unbrushed and sticking out in lovely formations

Pajamas = Check... Yep, still there.

Dishes = Piled high in my sink. UGH!

Table = Spread with my kids school books and papers...papers now floating down to the floor.

Floor = A splendid mix of K-nex, My Little Ponies, and (Le gasp) a few Cheerios left from breakfast, to boot.

Oh, the horror.

So I just stood there, frozen in my kitchen.
My kids staring at me with questioning looks. (Yes my sweet darlings, your momma is hiding in the kitchen and she is a mess.)

My thoughts circling,

“It must be a door to door salesman...Or those friendly Mormons have come back... I can wait them out.“ (I was in a sad state. I know.)

After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, (Ahem... Reality? Three minutes tops.) a text pinged my phone.

“Are you there?”

A dear sweet friend was in the neighborhood. She was surprising me with a mocha and a hug.

Sheepishly I shuffled my embarrassed butt to the door where she stood with a beautiful smile full of warmth and love.

I stood there a disheveled and mortified wreck.

But then gloriously, God broke through my introspective grumbling.

Suddenly I didn't care about “me” anymore.

I invited her into my mess.

While our kids played, we shared.

She listened. Like treasured gifts she offered me sweet grace and acceptance, instead of the judgment I feared.

And those wonderful gifts have lingered...

Offered on the wings of prayers and a mocha, I received a little more clarity and energy that day.

And gratefully, each day these are returning to my heart.

Bit by bit... Peeking through the cold winter hardened soil and growing upward again.

Joy is breaking through my clouds and that blasted tunnel has opened to the light of Truth.

And for this, I thank you, my sweet, sweet friends. You were God's hands and feet in my life that week.

This is my prayer in thanks for you all. (Taken from the words of Paul.)

Philippians 1: 3-5, 9-11, Ephesians 3:14-21

I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart...

And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name.

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. 

And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ,and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Joining with these lovely places Inspire Me Mondays, Wednesday's Word,

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