On the Wings of Prayer and a Mocha... or the importance of Inviting Someone into Your Mess.

This was written previously. I was not sure that I was even going to share it, but now I hope it blesses you. We are not perfect beings and yet we strive so hard for this image. 

In crying out for prayer I did not expect the answer the Lord decided to give me. I almost missed the beautiful blessing because I was hiding away in fear of what others might think. 

I pray this encourages you to cry out to God and a trusted friend quickly when you are struggling. Don't buy the myth that you can handle this all alone. I pray that God sends a trusted someone to you, that you can invite into your mess too. Hope is on the way my friends.

-Heather

“Oh goodness, I was doing better for a bit, but today I am a total crank. Need some prayers for a better attitude.”

I fired off the text in a rush. My brow remained furrowed...

I think there is a permanent crease there now from the last few months.

Lately, my eyes need tooth picks to keep them open. I feel like I constantly squint and not just from site issues, but from the bleary eyed frustration of struggling against the dark and gloomy thoughts that seem to be plaguing me lately...

So I fired off the text. A cry for prayer. I recognized the signs of depression that were knock knock knocking on my door again and I knew I couldn't handle this battle alone.

Been there. Done that. Failed.

She answered quickly and reciprocated the feeling.

In a single moment the Lord ushered in grace, hope, and a feeling of communion that gently whispered,

“You are not alone.”

You see the enemy wants us that way. He wants our vision tunneled by the hopelessness of looking down and inward and losing site of the hope and light that is found by looking up and outward.

Oh the blessings of sweet company. Now, I knew I wasn't fighting this battle alone anymore.

I awoke the next morning still feeling worn out. Why even get dressed yet? I wandered through my home with thoughts of guilt and frustration pestering me.

I did a daily tango between, “I am so exhausted... How does my house become such a wreck in just 3 days?” to the crushing guilt in realizing yet again, “Why in the world am I so depressed, when I know I am INCREDIBLY BLESSED?!”

Grumble, grumble...you get the idea.

And then there was an interruption to my pity party saga...

A literal “Knock, knock, knock.” came from the front door.

I froze.

Someone was at my door? I wasn't expecting anyone. I mean especially not in my lovely, and hilarious, state of wreckage.

Hair = Unbrushed and sticking out in lovely formations

Pajamas = Check... Yep, still there.

Dishes = Piled high in my sink. UGH!

Table = Spread with my kids school books and papers...papers now floating down to the floor.

Floor = A splendid mix of K-nex, My Little Ponies, and (Le gasp) a few Cheerios left from breakfast, to boot.

Oh, the horror.

So I just stood there, frozen in my kitchen.

My kids staring at me with questioning looks. (Yes my sweet darlings, your momma is hiding in the kitchen and she is a mess.)

My thoughts circling,

“It must be a door to door salesman...Or those friendly Mormons have come back... I can wait them out.“ (I was in a sad state. I know.)

After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, (Ahem... Reality? Three minutes tops.) a text pinged my phone.

“Are you there?”

A dear sweet friend was in the neighborhood. She was surprising me with a mocha and a hug.

Sheepishly I shuffled my embarrassed butt to the door where she stood with a beautiful smile full of warmth and love.

I stood there a disheveled and mortified wreck.

But then gloriously, God broke through my introspective grumbling.

Suddenly I didn't care about “me” anymore.

I invited her into my mess.

While our kids played, we shared.

She listened. Like treasured gifts she offered me sweet grace and acceptance, instead of the judgment I feared.

And those wonderful gifts have lingered...

Offered on the wings of prayers and a mocha, I received a little more clarity and energy that day.

And gratefully, each day these are returning to my heart.

Bit by bit... Peeking through the cold winter hardened soil and growing upward again.

Joy is breaking through my clouds and that blasted tunnel has opened to the light of Truth.

And for this, I thank you, my sweet, sweet friends. You were God's hands and feet in my life that week.

This is my prayer in thanks for you all. (Taken from the words of Paul.)

Philippians 1: 3-5, 9-11, Ephesians 3:14-21

I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart...

And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name.

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. 

And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ,and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Joining with these lovely places Inspire Me Mondays, Wednesday's Word,

If you don't know where to start... Start with one.

She was drunk.

 I could see our breath like a mist in the cold winter’s night as we sat outside the church building. People passionately lifting up praises to the Lord echoed out of the churches open windows. My rear end was starting to move from sore to numb as the chill sank into my bones from sitting on the ground outside. She was anxiously glancing back and forth. She told me again she should not be here she was “drrrrunk”. She rolled her “R’s” as they do in the Afrikaans language. My heart went out to her.

We sat together there in the cold damp night, waiting for her to sober up or just gain the confidence to go inside the building. I was silently praying for her and she was feeling nervous about the church people’s reactions to her being drunk. I reassured her of our love for her. She repeated again that she should not be here, yet made no move to leave. 

She had followed me all the way up the winding dark streets from where she and her friends had been partying. All the while we kept chatting lightly as we walked.  She continually telling me that she should go back to the party, yet we continued walking together toward the church. God was propelling her. I smiled as I watched her keep pace next to me.

God had placed her on my heart from the first day she arrived at the park where our mission’s team was working.  I spotted her standing towards the back of the ever growing numbers of teenagers and children who were coming out to the site. With her arms crossed, her face cynical and smug, she would stand and observe us. If you got to close, she side stepped you. If you reached out to give her a friendly pat on the arm, she made fists and darted. She smirked when we spoke and made fun of my American accent, but God nudged me and said,

”This one, love and pray especially for this one.”

It’s always amazing how God can place a love inside of us for someone we do not yet know personally. Or when He places a love in our hearts for someone who does what they can to be rude or dodge us like the plague.

 We shared some of the horror stories from our lives on that chilly evening. She allowed me to share with her how God brought love and healing into mine. We prayed together. She still has an abundance of hardships to deal with in life, but I am confident of this.

God loves her. That she is beautiful and valued in God’s eyes whether or not she feels valued in her family. I pray for her protection and for God to guide her each week. I pray for healing for her heart and the strength to stand for what is true. I also pray that one day I can see her and give her a big hug again, I even long to hear her giggling as I try once again to pronounce her name correctly.

There are many of us who are in need of God’s love, forgiveness, grace and freedom, whether here in the States or halfway across the world. They are hiding behind tough exteriors, towering walls built from years of broken trust and open wounds, yet dying inside for someone who will care and be patient enough to love them out of from behind their walls.  

I have heard from quite a few people how they feel overwhelmed by the needs in our world. A friend of mine shared she did not know where to start and if she could truly make a difference.

This brings me to this week’s challenge. Consider this phrase,

“Do for one what you wish you could do for all.”  

Friends, if you relate to this then, could you please pray and ask for the Lord to help you to see the “one” in your life? Couldn’t we all start there? Start with just one person? Ask the lord to help you to see the ways you can encourage and bless them and then do it.  Maybe it is someone in your neighborhood, a co-worker, or a person you have met where you volunteer. Perhaps God is leading you to support a child through Compassion International or World Vision. I encourage you to take the first step today and ask the Lord, “Who is your one?”

Then remember the words Bob Goff so aptly coined, 

“Love Does”. 

1 Corinthians 13:1-3

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Matthew 22:37-40

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Later this week I will post links to websites where you can discover ways to get active with your faith. For those ready to jump in with both feet stay tuned. 

God can do the impossible through us if we are willing. Thinking out of our little box is next on the list. May the Lord bless you greatly friends.